hey baby.

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Comments

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[ you were going to not let her have chips! ]

I'll make it up to you.

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[ god forbid she not have chips!!! ]

Start brainstorming how now.

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[ that better not be sarcasm!!!! ]

I'll let you read the paper first?

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[ ......it might be sarcasm. ]

Keep brainstorming.

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[ but she loves you :( ]

Two kisses when you come home.

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I don't know, I feel like I usually get those anyway.

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[ good point. ]

A foot rub on top of those kisses. And a good shower surprise.

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Four kisses, and two good shower surprises.

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And would you like them to happen all at once, or separately?

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Separately. Draw them out, make them worth how many times I'm going to hear Wheels On The Bus while driving across town to get your silly chips.

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1/2
I do love it when you get bossy.

2/2
Why can't you change the song?

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3/3
I realised that the back of our child's head resembles a melon.

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1/2
Because he cries. Our son is a cry baby.

[ ............also what the fuck mako. ]

2/2
How'd we get here?

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1/2
Like father, like son.

2/2
I'm not sure. It just came to me when I looked at that picture again.

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1/2
Excuse you.

2/2
They mentioned this in the baby books. It's because of how the birth canal contracted while you were pushing; that's what shapes the baby's head.

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My birth canal made my son's head melon-like?

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Yes.

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[ omg GUILT ]

Oh, no.

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[ aghfjds no!!! ]

It's okay! He'll have a perfectly normal life, everyone's head is shaped a little different.

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[ raleigh, ever her voice of reason. ]

I didn't permanently disfigure him?

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No, you did not permanently disfigure him.

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[ ...occasionally, being a mom freaks her out because what if she screws up their kid's life without knowing it, etc ]

Are you sure?

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[ she could never screw up their kids life, she worries too much about doing so to ever be able to actually do it. plus, he's here too. ]

Absolutely positive.

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[ :( baby, you're the best. ]

It's just that they seem to be unfairly adept at getting hurt. Babies shouldn't be this soft and fragile.

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Yeah, technically they should be in your stomach for twice as long as they are, so 18 months, but because we walk on two legs the human body can't push something that size out of it's pelvis.

[ seriously ALL THE BABY BOOKS. ]

And then for a long time they think nothing can hurt them and rely on their parents to protect them from their own stupidity. But they grow out of that.