hey baby.

[regroup]

Comments

[fissions]

[ you thought no one could bigfont someone via text.

you were wrong.

mako is so angry she forgets to english. ]

なに?

[regroup]

[ oh shit. ]

No it's okay! I caught him!

[fissions]

あなたはほぼ床に私たちの息子を落としたことを私に教えて意味ですか？

[regroup]

ほとんど。

[ mako do you know how hard it is to watch a kid all the time, especially when you're mid-poopy diaper and you run out of wipes... ]

[fissions]

[ but he almost dropped him and this is mako nearly having a heart attack. she's not the most hands-on mother but RALEIGH WHY ]

Yancyは大丈夫でしょうか?

[regroup]

Of course he's okay! I said I caught him, didn't I? Here.

DOWNLOAD: IMG_10283

[fissions]

[ oh, look at their beautiful, beautiful baby. ]

He was lucky this time, Raleigh. Be careful with him, please?

[regroup]

He's not going to break, Mako, I promise.

[ and watch him fall off the bed the next time she naps with him, ha! it's hard to be a responsible parent. ]

[fissions]

[ MAKO DOESN'T LET HIM FALL OFF THE BED. ]

He could have, if you were a second slower.

[ admittedly she's always loved his reflexes. ]

What happened to his pacifier?

[regroup]

I can't find it.

[ and if there were ever more panic in a single text, it was not a text exchanged between the two of them. ]

[fissions]

[ oh, no. ]

Did you look under his stack of clean clothes?

[regroup]

I've looked everywhere.

[ mako, help. ]

[fissions]

[ ... babe, you know she loves you and their kid, but she's so relieved she's not you right now. two minutes later: ]

I found it.

[regroup]

What do you mean you found it?

[fissions]

[ she's sorry :( ]

In my bag. Underneath the toys he shoved into it.

Do we have a spare?

[regroup]

[ akjdss do we have a spare? she asks, as if he hadn't complained extensively about last week's park shenanigans. ]

No. He threw his purple one in the pond when we were walking through the park last Tuesday.

[fissions]

[ SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT. but no, seriously, mako grimaces at that. ]

I'm surprised that didn't choke a duck. How quickly can you come here?

[regroup]

You want me to come there with a screaming baby in tow?

[ because it's started. it's started. ]

[fissions]

[ ...mako is so, so sorry, sweetheart, love of her life, her sun and stars etc etc ]

I love you?

[regroup]

Bring a new binkie home.

[ he's questioning his life decisions here. all of them. ]

Bring 10.

[ if he doesn't cave and go get one from the store first. they're an economical 1 car family. ]

[fissions]

[ she's just staring forlornly at the one between her fingers. how can the absence of one tiny thing cause so much misery? ]

Did you try giving him his apple juice?

[regroup]

[ mako. he loves and adores you, and you're the very best mom, but you also work 5 days a week and he has weathered far more tantrums and lost binkies than you. only difference is, other times? there's always been a spare. apple juice isn't going to work. ]

No.

[fissions]

[ Daddy Becket is the best, no doubt about it, the stalwart warrior, stout in the face of tantrums and lost binkies. ]

That bad?

[regroup]

That bad.

[ it's a really good thing they're texting, because he's doing the jiggle-walk and shooshing in yancy's ear, which means yancy's hollering in raleigh's ear, and he might be a little deaf after today. ]

[fissions]

[ she's coming home soon, baby, hang in there! ]

I'll be home in an hour. [ that is, if the house is still standing. ]